As the word ‘love’ comes in the vision or we read about it or we hear about it, so many mesmerizing stories and fairy tales or ancient tales comes in our mind.
And ‘Attraction’ it is also something which is often confused as love now a days. Actually it is a part of love itself but not the whole thing that we fancy as love. This entire universe works on the concept of love and its part attraction. Whether the youth or the old, male or female, monk or saint, black or white, young or wrinkled every single person is dwelled into the ocean of love or if not dwelled, once has tasted its magic.
But often people asks ‘why love fades away after sometime’? And its simple answer is ‘love never fades away’ but attraction does. So here comes the difference between love and attraction.
What is love?
All I can some up for the word love is ‘An undefinable spiritual feeling and belief which has power to see the divine in human beings’ and very few people have manage to understand its true meaning. Love develops with the heart and soul not with flesh or eyes. When you love something whether a person or a thing whether a living being or a non living being, it becomes the non detachable and indispensable part of our existence. Here non detachable means emotionally and spiritually not separated though physical separation may or may not be there.
When we love someone or something we love the soul of that thing and that’s why we have the power to see divine in that thing. Some people call love as weakness and strongly oppose this statement. Love can not be weakness ever. It gives the limitless power to live. When the person who is deeply in love with another person can cross oceans then how can it be a weakness? It only makes us stronger and gives us the courage to do anything.
What is attraction?
Attraction is a part of love but it is not the entire love. It is infatuation. It is true that love starts with attraction itself. Most of the times its attraction only that culminate into love. But it’s only a probability. Attraction is something that starts with eyes and it’s completely a physical feeling and most often it is as temporary as ocean waves though very strong.
We feel attracted to the beauty of the appearance of something and that something can be a person, animal, place or any beautiful thing. Attraction occurs at one glimpse only, it’s like we see something and feel very good about it and want to have that thing. Though it is a temporary feeling but it has one thing permanent, that it will fade away with time because if it doesn’t, its love.
Love and attraction in relationships
If we talk about relationships, love is backbone of any relation. That relation can be of a mother- daughter, father- daughter, mother- son, grandparents- grandchildren, husband- wife, girlfriend- boyfriend or friends, without love there is no existence of any relation.
Attraction is the first element that starts a relation. Now a days entire youth is dwelled into relationships. Half of the people are in search of the partner and other half are crying their heart out because of their partners. Why is it so? The simple answer is we assume the initial attraction as love and wants a perfect partner to live through the life.
As I mentioned earlier that attraction occurs in one look and it is with the beauty of appearance and is often temporary, people mistake this feeling with love. Love takes time to come into existence, to grow. Because when we love someone it’s not only their looks that we fall in love with.
Loving someone is like accepting that person completely, their mistakes, flaws, imperfections, not only good habits but also the bad ones. On the contrary, attraction only seeks perfections and the universal truth is that no person is perfect because we are human beings not the almighty.
Humans are portrait of imperfections and mistakes. So when we love someone we love them as they are and we love them in spite of their flaws and mistakes and imperfections. But when we are attracted to someone, we fancy that person to be perfect which is not possible and that thing leads to separation of the two love birds.
When we fall in love with someone completely we do not actually fall, we rise. As a very famous quote says; ‘do not fall on love, rise in love’. It is indeed true because falling in love is a free feeling and becoming a better version of ourselves. We help the weak partner to grow, to work hard, to become successful as there is trust and understanding which has developed over time.
But in the relationship which is based just on attraction, things doesn’t work out this way. Lack of understanding and trust will lead to jealousy and insecurities and ultimately end of the relation.
Love at first site
There is no such thing which is called as love at first site but yes there is attraction at first site and if your infatuation is so strong it can culminate in love. I have often heard people rhyming their love tales and saying that it was my love at first site, no dear it wasn’t love at first site.
It was your infatuation and attraction but it was so strong that you accepted the other person completely, you loved that person in every situation, every weather, through every thunderstorm you hold onto each other and survived it gracefully and that’s how it become love.
Feelings that separates love from attraction
- Guy sees a girl and says; OMG she is dam hot- attraction
- Guy sees a girl and says; look she is beautiful- love
- I just want to be with you all the time- attraction
- I need you in every situation of my life- love
- My eyes always look up for you- attraction
- I don’t need eyes to see you- love
- My heart starts pounding when you are around- attraction
- My heart is so calm and relax as it feels to be in the right place- love
- I feel butterflies in my stomach as I feel your touch- attraction
- I feel so secure and comfortable as I feel your touch- love
- Attraction is wanting
- Love is giving away
- You are so beautiful, I will love you forever- attraction
- No matter how you look, my heart will belong to you forever- love
Is love and attraction are two sides of single coin?
Different people have different opinions regarding this. Some believes yes they are and some oppose this fact. I personally don’t feel so. Love and attraction are not two sides of same coin. But instead both are very different coins.
Love is very very deep and spiritual feeling. Its all about giving away and expecting nothing in return. But attraction always expects the same attention in return.
Love is sneaking into someone’s soul and nurturing it with purity, happiness and joy. Love is seeing happiness of your loved one before your own happiness. Attraction in this whole scenario has got very little space. But we can not deny the fact that its attraction only that leads to love. It is a stepping stone for the love. But the feeling is entirely different because attraction is crushing on someone and crush fades away ultimately.
Attraction flourishes on the concept of perfection and there is no such concept in reality, its only in our imagination as we idealize the picture of our Mr. and Ms. Perfect and we will only see the good parts, not the flaws and imperfections. After some time when flaws and imperfections of our partner comes into our vision, we are just not able to tolerate them. At that point we reality comes into existence that whether it love or attraction.
If we happily accept every flaw our partner and just want them to be with us, it’s definitely love. But if we only get irritate and want our partner to change for us, it’s not love, it’s attraction. So one should not confuse their initial crush as love because it really impossible to figure it out.
So on my recommendation love and attraction are not the two sides of same coin.
Love is action, Attraction is feeling
Yes, love is an action. It’s an action of love, care, tenderness, support, courage, cuddling, being attached to each other physically, mentally and emotionally, being responsible, understanding, respecting to each other. On the other hand attraction is just a feeling, feeling of butterflies, blushing around and smiling randomly like an idiot. Attraction is itself a very good feeling but until it is mistaken with love.
People in love are ready to fight for each other in every situation. In spite of every flaw they are just not ready to let go, they will fight to make it work. Accepting imperfections, forgiving and forgetting mistakes, working on our own mistakes, doing anything to put smile on the face our partner, these all actions define love and they grow over a period of time. Once they have grown in any relation, they will persist as long as the person live or even after that.
Attraction is as shallow as ocean’s shore so no deep efforts are done. This feeling is developed by the fantasies and ended by the bitter realties. This feeling is selfish as it only look for the things which makes itself happy. It’s only a physical urge to be with the other partner nothing more than that. It can not handle arguments and mistakes of other person and lead to vanishing of the feeling.
Relationship of two persons become so blessed if infatuation and culminate.
What is one sided, love or attraction?
Both can be one sided. Some people says that attraction is one sided only but love is not. I oppose this totally. We can not force anyone to fall in love with us. If we love someone or feel attracted to someone and that person feels in the same way, it’s a blessing.
The only difference is that if its attraction it will vanish off after some time but if it’s our true love it will never vanish from our heart. We will always love that person secretly and will pray for the good life of that person and that person will be in our memories always. On the contrary, infatuation will fade away, and we may start hating that person for not accepting us. It can lead to jealousy also.
I personally feel that one sided feeling is moreover recommended as love rather than attraction. Because here it’s all selfless. We do not expect anything from our crush and ready to even jump from the wall for them. We will do anything to see them happy whether we are part of that happiness or not. That’s what love is all about, giving away.
On the other hand, in attraction, there is always an urge to be with that person and if that person is failed to manage to make time for us, there is avenge. We always expect that person to do something to make us happy or make us feel special ( it’s all a natural feeling) but failure of such tasks leads to holding grudges and misunderstandings.
So I can sum up that love is more one sided than attraction.
Love in unconditional, attraction is conditional
It is a very fine phrase ‘love is unconditional’ because in this one line this four letter word is completely described. Love is beyond any condition, beauty, age, wrinkles, race, color anything. But attraction is all conditional. Without good condition we will never feel attracted to anyone.
Earlier I said that love gives us the power to see divine in human beings because when we start loving someone so deeply, we love them like almighty loves us, in every single condition. We all are very well aware of the fact that god loves us all in every condition, he will test us, sometimes even punish us for our mistakes but he will leave our hand in any condition. That is why we see divine in the person we love spiritually. Because no matter what happens, things goes wrong or right we will never ever leave the hand of that person. Whether that person accepts us or deny us, we will always be there in the need of that person.
Unlikely, attraction is all conditional. If we get response from the other person or attention then only we will feel good about the relation. If the person leaves us, all the feelings will fade away gradually. Because it’s all temporary.
Attraction attracts opposite, love attracts another half of your soul
Most probably we will feel attract to the person who is totally opposite of us. It’s a one of the most fundamental law of nature that, opposite attracts. Even science approves this. The constitution of the entire universe is based on the law of attraction, even the formation of our body is based on this law. So more often attraction occur towards the person who is completely opposite of us because we feel an urge to know that person, to who what its feel like to be not me.
For example, you are a doctor. The probability of your attraction towards your own colleagues is less as compared to the people of other field (And here we are not counting on the factors like looks and personality). If you find a business class person the chances of attraction towards that person are more as compared to own colleagues. Because it’s a basic nature of human beings to explore.
You find it more interesting to know how the business world works, about the share market and the other things because it’s something that does not come in your daily routine and is different form your medical. Its human nature to get bore of the things which we do on the repeat more or if not bored we become less interested in that and this is the reason we feel attracted to something which is different, opposite, does not come in our daily routine.
Love is also somehow result of the attraction but here probability of attraction towards same and opposite does not matter. Because love does not work on the concept of the human mind but instead, most often it works opposite to how our mind thinks. Its reason is that love happens to be from our heart and soul. We may fall in love with the person as of same nature or the opposite nature like attraction.
But the difference is that in attraction, after some time, once we got to know the opposite person, it will also tend to seem boring. Because it’s our mind, that works here and the interest and excitement is gone. And then we feel repulsion towards that person. But if our attraction culminate into love, our souls will unite. It becomes the relationship which never dies from the heart or the mind.
Love is a never dying urge for the opposite person, no matter how the person looks, what the person do, we will never ever feel bore of them. Because it’s an energy that can not destroyed.
Some lines that clearly sum up the difference between love and attraction
- Attraction is all material plane and physical attraction, love is beyond the material plane and physical attraction, it’s the total sum up of the attraction, infatuation, physical and emotional attachment, passion, obsession, spiritual belonging to each other.
- Attraction is only bounded to the outer beauty, the flesh. Love is all about knowing the inner beauty beyond the flesh.
- Attraction only touches the skin physically, love touches the soul beneath of that skin, spiritually.
- Attraction looks up for the perfectionist, perfect body, perfect voice, size and shape. Love only look up for the soul and heart of that person.
- Attraction leads to hurting. Love leads to healing.
- Love is feeling free but yet totally consumed, attraction is all bounded.
- Love is long lasting, attraction is short lived.
- Love teaches us to spread love and help us to become a better version of ourselves, attraction leads to jealousy and obsession and causes us to neglect other relations.
- Love never wants us to change us the way we are, but attraction wants us to be their idealize picture.
- Love survives bad conditions, fights, arguments. Attraction glosses over these things.
- Love is always encouraging and there is no such thing in infatuation.
- Love fills our life with non drainable energy which never turns off, infatuation drains away our energy.
- Love is as deep as ocean, attraction is as shallow as its shore,
- Love is trustful, attraction is doubtful.
- Attraction is physical lust, love is lust for the soul of the partner beyond physical touch.
Regardless of all the differences between love and attraction, they both somehow belong to each other only. This entire universe works on the concept of love and attraction. And it’s true that you can not fall in love with the opposite person without feeling attracted towards them. Because it’s the power of attraction only which pulls us towards the other person and bounds us to them.